Now I’ve been called on more than one occasion by different people that I get emotionally attached easily. Something I have pondered and thought about for some time. Generally it is said in a negative connotation, is it? Isn’t it just that emotionally attached people show their feelings more and what is wrong with that?
Emotional attachment can be applied to more things that just people and relationships. Recently in making a big decision myself in regards to leaving a work situation, I did need to ask myself, if I stayed was it purely emotional attachment? What did my logically rational mind think? And there are many things one can be emotionally attached to, our cars, our homes and other material things.
I’ve often spoken about the emotional brain vs logic brain in previous posts. When we make decisions, sometimes we do need to take a step back and ask ourselves which brain we are in. The place we should be is in our ‘wise mind’, a combination of both.
Is it when we are no longer emotionally attached that we are really over it? Speaking to my friend recently we were talking about holiday destinations. My friend saying how his partner has been to certain places and wants them to go there together so he can create new memories. It got me thinking about my favourite places in the world, Paris in particular. Once upon a time went with a now ex, yet I wouldn’t hesitate to go back again with a new partner. It doesn’t take away from my previous time, and I am not emotionally attached to that ex therefore wouldn’t be comparing nor reminiscing. I have frequented our ‘fav’ places many of times with others and haven’t thought twice about it.
Another example comes to mind when a few months back I found myself laying in bed in a hotel room in Melbourne. I’m lying in bed, unable to sleep. Then all of a sudden I had these flashing images run through me. It almost startled me. I had been in this bed before, I knew it, I had slept in this room many of years ago. I lay there feeling a bit odd. Was it disrespectful to be now with someone else in that same hotel? I hadn’t booked the room and hadn’t realized until that point. So what did it matter?
Upon getting back to Sydney I had to check my photos, and there is was 10 years ago, same room, completely different décor but definitely the room, it had distinctive structural features. But I didn’t feel anything, I wasn’t emotionally attached to it any longer. I do find it interesting that we can be so emotionally attached to someone at one point in our lives, then somewhere along the line the loves goes and we no longer feel much or anything at all. We become strangers to people who once meant everything.
I read this quote:
The secret self knows the anguish of our attachments and assures us that letting go of what we think we must have to be happy is the same as letting go of our unhappiness.
I think that pretty much sums it up. Attachment can cause pleasure or it can cause pain. We need to know when to let go of them. Sometimes the attachment causes more hurt than it is worth.